Considerations
by Orrymain
Summary: Lovers, beagles, and family decisions!


Considerations  
  
Author: Orrymain  
  
Author Email: marciastudley@comcast.net (Feedback welcome)   
  
Author Website: http://orrymain.raikiri.net/fanfichome.html   
  
Category: Slash, Romance, Established Relationship   
  
Pairing: Jack/Daniel .... and it's all J/D   
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Season: 7 - May 2, 2004  
  
Spoilers: None  
  
Size: 17kb, short story  
  
Written: November 2, 2003   
  
Archive: Area52, Comfort Zone, FanFiction.Net, Cartouche, AlphaGate, TheBoy  
  
Disclaimer: Usual disclaimers -- not mine, wish they were, especially Daniel, and Jack, too, but they aren't. This was a whim; all in fun. I don't have anything to do with them legally!  
  
Summary: Moonlight, lovers, and family decisions!  
  
Notes: Thanks to my betas who always make my fics better: Suzanna  
  
Considerations  
  
by Orrymain  
  
"Jack, what are you doing?" Daniel entered the study, a bit concerned about his lover who had disappeared from their bed.  
  
The day before Daniel had thrown Jack a surprise party with their closest family and friends present. It had been a rousing success, and afterwards, the two had made love and fallen asleep in each other's arms. When Daniel awoke at 4 a.m., he realized his husband was AWOL and he went looking for him, finding Jack sitting on the comfortable sofa in the study.  
  
"I love that sketch, Danny. Did I say thank you?"  
  
Daniel blushed, as he shuffled into the study and sat down next to his husband, Jack putting his arm around the younger man and placing a kiss on his temple. Daniel had gifted Jack with a charcoal etching he had done of himself and their two beagles, Bijou and Katie. It had overwhelmed Jack, and he had insisted on hanging it in the study.  
  
"Yes, several times actually."  
  
"Well ... thank you again."  
  
"Jack, you didn't come in here just to look at it did you?"  
  
"I wanted to see it, but no, not exactly."  
  
"Okay Colonel O'Neill, what's going on in that brain of yours?"  
  
"We have decisions to make, Danny, lots of 'em."  
  
"About what?"  
  
"You, me, and the kids ... the human ones."  
  
"We have time, Jack. We can't do anything until you retire, and that's at least a year from now, maybe two."  
  
"I know."  
  
"I'm tired, Love. Yesterday was a long day. Can we go back to yawn bed?"  
  
Jack considered sending Daniel back upstairs alone, but then he realized his love wouldn't go without him. Daniel had worked so hard on the surprise party, and it occurred to the older man that perhaps Daniel hadn't been sleeping much the past week from the anxiety of it.  
  
"Yeah, come on. You need your beauty sleep."  
  
"Me? You're older. Don't forget that."  
  
"As if I could with you by my side."  
  
"Jack!"  
  
"Love you, Angel. Come on. Bed ... I might even let you sleep."  
  
"Isn't there an 'or'?"  
  
"Always, Love ... there's always an 'or' for you," Jack kissed Daniel passionately.  
  
Sleep would be postponed for an hour or so.  
  
====   
  
Daniel awoke, alone again, at 11 a.m. He wasn't all that surprised that he had slept in. He had been exhausted, and their early morning interlude had gone on longer than expected, which wasn't much of a surprise itself.   
  
Daniel smile remembering their lovemaking and how tender it had been, and how cherished Jack had made him feel.  
  
Smiling, Daniel rose and took a shower and changed into a blue shirt. He started to put on his blue jeans, but a wicked grin came over his face and instead, he put on his denim cut offs. Jack was planning on watching some sporting event on TV that afternoon, but Daniel had other plans for his husband.  
  
Daniel was surprised, however, when he went downstairs and Jack wasn't there. He went outside and greeted their beagles, but still didn't see Jack.  
  
"Hmm," Daniel said softly.  
  
"Woof," Bijou said.  
  
"Oh yeah?"  
  
She wagged her tail and smiled.  
  
"Thanks," Daniel laughed, turning to climb the ladder that went to the roof deck.  
  
Jack was sitting on one of the chairs on the deck, leaning forward, his hands clasped together. Daniel could see he was lost in thought about something.   
  
Daniel walked slowly over and crouched down in front of Jack, taking the older man's hands in his and kissing them.  
  
"Talk to me."  
  
Jack smiled, leaned forward for a quick kiss, and said softly, "It's those decisions, Danny. We want to be prepared, don't we?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"And that means we need to think about things. If we don't, then instead of moving forward when we have the chance, we'll delay everything."  
  
"I know what you mean. We have time to think everything out now and then when you really do retire, we can move ahead with our lives without wasting time."  
  
"Exactly."  
  
"So ... which decisions have you so ... deep in thought?"  
  
"Not used to this Fly Boy thinking, are you?"  
  
"Jack!" Daniel said with a warning in his voice.  
  
"Just teasing, Love," Jack chuckled, well aware Daniel hated his "dumb Colonel" act.  
  
Jack was holding Daniel's hands tightly, though, so Daniel knew there was a struggle going on within his lover.  
  
Jack sighed, "Danny, first, do we want babies or do we want to rescue someone no one else will love?"  
  
Daniel looked down as he thought about Jack's question.  
  
"See, part of me, Danny, wants the diapers and the inconvenience of getting up in the middle of the night, and the crying and the burping ... and the first words, first steps, the cooing ... part of me wants all of that ... and part of me looks at you and remembers that lonely little boy that no one ever believed in."  
  
"We could save one. The one hiding in the corner, scared, holding on to himself because no one else ever does."  
  
"Yeah, I thought you might like that."  
  
"It's a nice thought. But ... I don't know, Jack. I kinda like the baby idea, too."  
  
Jack smiled, "You sure?"  
  
Daniel leaned up to capture Jack's lips again, "Do you know how much I love you just for thinking about that?"  
  
"I have a little idea."  
  
"Jack, didn't we ... sort of already agree on babies? I mean, I know we haven't verbalized it exactly, but whenever we've talked about it, we've always mentioned ... well ... babies," Daniel chuckled.  
  
"Yeah, I guess we did. I just thought ..."  
  
"Well, maybe ..."  
  
"Daniel? You aren't serious?"  
  
"Would it so bad?"  
  
"Danny, we'd have to adopt two. I'd never want to adopt just one and have them think even remotely they were adopted to be a babysitter. They need someone to play with and bond with and ..."  
  
Daniel was grinning, a big, gigantic, full face grin.  
  
"Four, Danny?"  
  
Daniel's grin continued.  
  
"We're crazy, absolutely friggin' crazy," Jack laughed.  
  
"Would they let us?"  
  
"Oh, Danny. Look at us. When I retire, all those ... medals ... are finally going to come in darn handy. We have the finances, the house. Heck, we're more stable than those so-called normal couples. Besides, we'll have recommendations out of our wazoos, including the President of the United States. Who's going to turn us down?"  
  
"I hope no one."  
  
"No one, Angel. Four," Jack shook his head.  
  
"Well, not all at once, Jack. Maybe the babies first, because they take so much time and like you said, we don't want anyone to feel ignored or ... I mean, the older ones, they need a lot of love and time, too."  
  
"We have a lot of love to give, Danny. We can do it."  
  
Jack laughed again and pulled Daniel into him for a huge kiss, their arms hanging all over the other as they engaged in some serious liplock for several minutes.  
  
"Danny ... the babies."  
  
"One boy and one girl ... right?"  
  
"Yes," spoken softly with just a tad of uncertainty in Jack's voice.  
  
"Jack, you don't sound so sure all of a sudden."  
  
"Ah, Angel. Our children will be so darned loved, but ... we need to decide ... and I don't mean this second ... I ... Danny, I want you to think about something and ... before we get into it, I don't know ..." Jack grunted, "Geez, I sound like you."  
  
"Ouch!" Jack laughed when Daniel swatted him, giving him a death stare at the same time.  
  
"Come on, Angel, you know how you get."  
  
"Yes, and I know how you are when I get like that, so spill it, Jack."  
  
"I only meant I don't have a preference. I haven't decided that this would be right or that, but what I do know is that we should look at all of the options and go from there."  
  
Jack couldn't resist another kiss with his husband, his hands roaming from under Daniel's shirt to inside his lover's thighs.  
  
"Jack, you are so not watching whatever that game is today."  
  
"I figured that out, Love."  
  
Daniel snuggled into Jack's hold, "but ... you need to tell me what you're thinking before we ... go there," Daniel said moving Jack's hands off his thighs.  
  
"Spoilsport."  
  
"I love you."  
  
Jack looked at Daniel's hand, his fingers gently touching the gold wedding band that rested there.  
  
"Danny, there are a lot of ways to adopt babies. The conventional way is a bit slow, but we could do that. Or ... we could hire a lawyer and set up a couple of private adoptions which might be easier since we want two babies at the same time."  
  
"Or?"  
  
"Or ... there's the surrogate route."  
  
"Surrogate?"  
  
"Yeah, and that way, they'd really ... oh geez, Daniel listen. I'm so bad at words. I don't know how to say this without making it sound wrong. I will love our kids, all of them ... equally, but I ... CRAP! ..."  
  
Daniel actually jumped from Jack's exclamation he had been so startled.  
  
"Jack, what?"  
  
"It sounds wrong. I love our kids. There isn't a 'but" and yet I don't know the words. I don't have the words, Danny."  
  
Daniel moved out of Jack's hold, back in front of his lover, cupping his face, and looking him straight in the eye.  
  
"Jack, like you tell me, don't over think. I know how you feel, okay? I understand your heart and soul because they are a part of me, too, so, just say it and we'll go from there. Trust me."  
  
"I do, Danny. Gawd, I trust you so much."  
  
The two smiled, and Jack nodded, their hands joined, fingers entwined, gently caressing each other.  
  
"Charlie. Daniel I know what that feels like to look at your child and know they are a part of you, that your genes are in them, that ... it's your blood flowing through them. It's a bond that doesn't have words. There's a feeling of immortality when you look at your child and know that ..."  
  
Jack paused, a brief look of horror encompassing his face. It was a look that stopped Daniel's heart, but he had to get them beyond this, so Daniel spoke softly, "... and know that you live on in them when you're gone."  
  
Jack looked at Daniel which love and gratitude and only nodded in affirmation. He took a breath and continued.  
  
"Charlie," Jack laughed, "he was something. When we first started talking about this, and before, when I was mulling it over, I had to think about him, to decide if I could go through that again, and it didn't take long for me to know that with you, I ... I wanted to take the chance again ..."  
  
"But ..." Daniel said firmly, urging his lover on just as Jack had done so many times for Daniel when things had been difficult for him to express.  
  
"But I wasn't sure because ... Danny you look like him. Those pictures of you as a boy ... it's Charlie. You know?"  
  
"I know. It's the hair."  
  
"And the eyes ... and the smile ... and your hands ... and how you look at the world ... and ... ah, Angel, the little boy in you was a lot like Charlie and ...," Jack sighed again.  
  
"And part of you is afraid that our little boy would look like Charlie and maybe that might be difficult to handle?"  
  
"Yeah something like that, but ..."  
  
"But you've been thinking about this surrogate thing from the beginning, but were afraid to tell me, right?"  
  
"Something like that."  
  
"And that's what has you a little mixed up, because you're afraid that since I looked like Charlie as a little boy that if I ... we ... had a little boy using a surrogate, than odds are increased that he'd look like Charlie."  
  
"Yeah, that would be it."  
  
"We don't have to do the surrogate thing. Easy solution."  
  
"Except for one thing."  
  
"And that would be ...?"  
  
Jack moved his right hand to run through Daniel's hair for a moment, and then to caress his cheek.  
  
"Danny, you're so amazing. I don't want to lose that gift."  
  
"I don't understand."  
  
"You. Passing on who you are, that genius, the compassion, the uniqueness of everything that is you ... we can pass that on, keep it going. Danny, haven't you ever wanted that ... to perpetuate yourself with your children?"  
  
"I never really thought about it. I mean, Jack, I read books and I studied. My love life before you wasn't exactly stellar, and that includes Sha're. So ... no, I never have because before you, I never really thought I was anything special and didn't really believe I'd have that kind of relationship, and then after you, it ... wasn't going to be humanly possible, so why think about it?"  
  
"But now ... if we go the surrogate route, it would be possible."  
  
"Yes, I guess so."  
  
"But ...," Jack prodded.  
  
"It brings mothers into it. Jack, I couldn't do that secret stuff, and worry forever that someone would change their mind and suddenly pop up wanting their child back, so it would have to be an open arrangement, and if we do that, then I just can't ... I mean, I couldn't exclude them."  
  
"Big decision. I just want us to think about it."  
  
"Jack, if I do it, you do it. You know that."  
  
"Yeah, I knew you'd say that."  
  
"And ... that might get a little difficult, too."  
  
"Timing," Jack acknowledged, "but I doubt that would be too much of a problem."  
  
"Woof! Woof!"  
  
"Ut oh. I think they are feeling ignored, Jack."  
  
"Children. So demanding. Come on. Let's exhaust the little things and then go exhaust ourselves."  
  
"I like the way you think, Colonel Jackson-O'Neill."  
  
The two stood up and Daniel stretched, suddenly noticing that Jack seemed to be feasting on him with his eyes.  
  
"What?"  
  
"You're so beautiful."  
  
Daniel blushed.  
  
"Geez, Danny, I love that. Six years and you still blush at the simplest thing."  
  
Daniel walked to Jack and kissed him, "There's nothing simple about how you love me or how you make me feel. Jack, you make me feel so darn special, like I'm ...," Daniel smiled, "a treasured artifact and I can't help but react to it because it comes from here in your heart."  
  
"I love you, Daniel Patrick Jackson-O'Neill, and you are special and precious. I can't wait to have kids with you, however we decide to it. Danny ... genes or not, they will be part of you."  
  
"There's more to parenting than genes. I do understand what you said, Jack, and ... the passing on a piece of ourselves ... that makes sense, too, and I also know that both of us will love our children, cherish them, no matter where they come from or how they get to be ours. In the end, Babe, they'll be ours. We'll be the ones teaching them about life ... just us."  
  
"You know, there's another option, too ... for babies, besides the slow traditional system or the glorified lawyers ... or the surrogate method."  
  
"What, Jack?"  
  
"Ever watch those paid programming commercials at night?"  
  
Daniel sighed, a sigh of sadness at the plight of homeless, needy, and hungry children around the world. How many times had he seen or heard about babies in Ethopia or some other African or South American country in need of a home? The answer was many. He again looked deeply into Jack's eyes.  
  
"Jack, would it matter to you? I mean, nationality or ..."  
  
"... or color?"  
  
Daniel looked at Jack, the question affirmed in his eyes.  
  
Jack shook his head, "No, Danny. When it comes right down to it, I don't care what sex our child is, or what color they are, or where their heritage is from. In the end, I just want them to be healthy ... and ours. How about you?"  
  
"Me, too, Jack. So ... I guess that's another option we should at least consider. We could save a life or two that way."  
  
"So many options, Love. So many considerations."  
  
"We still have time, Jack, but you were right. We need to think about it now, and really look at the choices and research them ... and be comfortable with whatever we decide, and then when you retire ..."  
  
"...the Jackson-O'Neill's hit the road and bring home their kids, from wherever."  
  
"Woof!"  
  
"Speaking of kids," Daniel chuckled.  
  
Two more kisses and a tender embrace later, Jack and Daniel found themselves on the grass in their backyard being over run by two healthy, happy beagles. Somewhere in the middle of the romp, the married couple exchanged a look, one that said no matter what they decided, the Jackson-O'Neills were going to be a very loving and happy family!   
  
~~Finis - Finished - Done - The End - But is it ever Really?~~ 


End file.
